Building a Resilient Spirit

I think John Lennon said it best when he sang that “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.” This has certainly been my experience and has taught me a great deal about resiliency.

When I was 25 and busy planning my “happily ever after” life of children and a successful career, life handed me both lupus and infertility. I chose at that time not to live a sad life, but one of happiness and joy. Since then, I’ve discovered some great tools for coping, rising above challenge, and building a resilient spirit. I’ve learned the importance of letting go of things I cannot control.

I laughingly tell people that control is an illusion. There are many things that we can control: what we eat, whether or not we exercise, if we do or do not follow a doctor’s orders; but there are many more things that we cannot control. I’ve learned that it is helpful for me to ask myself, “Is this something I can control?” If the answer is “yes,” then I take action. If the answer is “no,” I do my best to let it go. While this has taken a bit of practice, it has saved me countless hours of sleepless nights and stress filled days, and it can do the same for you. {PP}

Ambassador of hope and author of The Wild Woman’s Guide to Living with Chronic Illness, Cindy Coney is a nationally acclaimed speaker, trainer, human resilience expert, and philanthropic force. She also has lupus. Dedicated to helping both children and adults achieve optimal health and success, Cindy has taught thousands of people to move beyond coping with limitations to recapturing joy and fulfillment in their lives. Visit for more imformation.

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